Grey and Bay

The mares are still nameless, and they got their feet done today :) I have decided to keep track of their progress via blogging so I have a reference to look back on and I love documenting! O:) When they got their feet done they were separated for the first time. Bay went first, she walked out like a champ and Grey pinned her ears when she left but nothing further. Bay stood like an angel for the farrier and got her feet trimmed. Her feet are a bit of a mess and need some time to get stronger, but she looked fine and walked away sound. When Bay was getting her feet done Grey was screaming a little but not really running or anything.

Grey went second. When we switched them, Bay started to scream, which I must say I did not really expect. Grey stood for the farrier as well, but not as quietly. She is only four so I did not expect her to be as good. She was not vicious or mean, and looks like she just needs to get used to life. Her feet were also a mess, she had one shoe on which we removed to let her feet get stronger too. Her left front is a little bit dishy, and slowly the angle will get pushed back to where it belongs.

Tomorrow Sandy gets back and we will separate them. They are eating a handful of grain right now and have a lot of weight to put on, but so far they seem healthy, and happy girls! The next thing I want to do is start a record book of them, gather their papers, and make a plan for them.

Naming them needs to happen ASAP I don't want bay and grey to become a habit. :o

Tomorrow is going to be a louddd day...

Sigh... Today

Well today was bitter sweet for me today. To start my mom and I picked up two Thoroughbreds that just got off the track. One of them is a seven year old and the other is four, both mares. They need names, so I am trying to work that out. I am super excited about them! I really can't wait to start working with them. Rode Tommy today and he is finally back to work after being lame for almost a month, he is doing really well and Hannah my 13 year old little sister got on him today. :) I was such a proud mamma when he just marched around like a champ. Hannah is a good rider but she doesn't ride a lot and she has not really ridden many horses. Anyway he was perfect!

And now for the bitter to my sweet.

I got into the first level of EAP this year, but I did not make it to the second level. It is just one more thing to the long list of trying to be a professional Equestrian blah blah blah. I am not against working hard I really am not. But workign to something that feels like it just spins me around in a circle again and again is so goddamn frusterating you have no idea. Well, I'm sure that's not true, I guess everyone has a dream they never acheive or they change to move on to something else right? I just never wanted to be that person. I always thought hard work would pay off in the end yanno. I mean sure it is not the end, but I have been riding in circles for probably three years now, at LEAST! It is just hard to handle when you watch other people fly by you, it hurts, it hurts a lot.

Current song: breaking out the angry avril lavigne for sure!

Frustration

Maybe its because I'm a perfectionist in some ways or maybe its because I am just plain stubborn, but mediocrity has never been an option for me... it appalls me which is so ironic because i feel like thats all I'm ever going to achieve. Maybe the problem is I want too much out of life. I don't want it to be boring or normal or acceptable... I would do anything to avoid it. The whole idea of living an average life terrifies the word average is repulsive and stupid and something i refuse to accept. but I'm sure I'm not the only one who thinks that... so i wonder is "non-average" the norm? does everyone wanna stick out like a sore thumb and do something great or terrible, or am I just a weirdo. It usually starts with a list in my head a list of my interests that immediately come to mind...

horses

painting

drawing

printing

writing

history

philosophy

teaching

ethics

then it turns into a list of careers I've considered in my life whether briefly or half heartedly...

Vet

archaeologist

teacher

storm chaser

Equestrian professional

fashion designer

professional organizer

mother

journalist

this list obviously is pretty much a walking contradiction but then it gets even more confusing when you reach the broader list of things i want to do in my life which is as follows

be a professional rider

skydiving

see the world

fight women's rights in the middle east and africa

write a book

paint a mural

have children

get married

live in an RV

start a garden

eat completely organic

this list as we go from interests to things i want to do would seemingly get smaller... as it gets more specific. However it just gets broader and more and more contradictory... which leads me to believe one of a few things. a) I have some form of personality disorder and cannot seem to please all of "me" b) I am merely uninterested in anything enough to make it my life's passion which seems odd because I dedicate my whole life to riding ponies every single freaking day

c) I am so confused I don't know which way is up what I want to do who I am or what I even like!

blah blah blah Right?

I know we have heard it all before growing up who am I whine whine whine I know... believe me I have complained and laughed at just as many of those movies as you have I assure you. But as I grow older and know fewer and fewer things I begin to listen to those movies and those songs more and more which can only lead me to believe that the I am going completely crazy option from before is the correct one O:)

Of course no one should live their life according to a movie or a song right? Has anyone ever told you to close your eyes and picture the person you want to be and try your very best to be that person. WELLLL WTF how am I supposed to just pull an entire persona out of me arse... one of my many enjoyments is music. Who doesn't love that song about that girl or that boy that makes you wanna sing really loud and off key no matter what.

So ladies and gentlemen (mainly me) I am offering myself a challenge and the challenge is this...

1) gather as many songs as I can that sound like someone I am/want to be/ or just like the sound of the person

2) write down all of the adjectives used in these songs

3) I have yet to figure out what comes next, but I am assuming there will be some sort of self discovery thing here...

Stay weird

Xo

Current song: Anything But Ordinary by Avril Lavigne